Clients bring to coaching situations with common underlying themes. A recurring topic that has recently been coming up is the difficulty of being with pain.

As humans, the discomfort of pain is something we know very well. However, sometimes, we confuse that discomfort by clinging to what caused us pain to begin with, turning it into suffering.

How do we cope with those big feelings? That is a deeply personal and individual journey.

But as we grow older, we all develop coping mechanisms that help us adapt. With those come the narratives of failure, doubt, and loss that we keep way beyond their expiration date.

These mechanisms are helpful until we are face-to-face with the discomfort again. Ready or not.

Often than not, letting go of the pain is the least challenging part and has already begun to take place. We only need to acknowledge it and change the narrative that holds us back.

Yet it’s easier said than done. We insist on affirming the old narratives. The dire situation we might face can be a call to compost old stories linked to our identity. The usual ways of seeing ourselves immersed in defeat, doubt, and failure can become fertilizer for what is already sprouting within.

On occasion, we may act on something to alleviate – or distract ourselves from – the pain when what we should do is feel the discomfort and sadness. Have some self-compassion.

The decision to acknowledge what’s withering and embrace the discomfort can be all the guidance you need for now.